


don't blame me, it's a hard gamble

by dibidibidibidis



Category: NCT (Band), WayV (Band)
Genre: Confessions, Light Angst, M/M, Paskuhan AU, Unrequited Crush, i almost cried writing this lmao, yuta is kinda a jerk but dont take it seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-24
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-07 18:29:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26632135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dibidibidibidis/pseuds/dibidibidibidis
Summary: Sicheng confesses to Yuta in the midst of colored lights, but Yuta ignores him.a yuwin paskuhan au based on a yuta pov tiktok :>
Relationships: Dong Si Cheng | WinWin/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	don't blame me, it's a hard gamble

**Author's Note:**

> hello there yuwinists. i've decided to contribute this fic that has been Stuck in my drafts for so long. 
> 
> title is from pagtingin by ben&ben, it's in filipino so i had to translate. ALSO there are also lyrics in the fic, i'll try my best to translate them :)

Lights shine on Sicheng's face, different colors blinding him, unable to see who's on stage. The band playing apparently just finished their first song, cheers heard in the wide field from the people who are maybe too drunk, too high to comprehend what's coming next.

He glances over the person next to him, who is none other than the man Nakamoto Yuta. He's Sicheng's senior, lunch buddy, bestfriend and currently, the love of his life.

It's been 3 years since they've met and every day is just Sicheng itching to tell him how he feels. But he usually chickens out last minute, instead preoccupies himself with things he's supposed to be doing.

And now he sees himself amidst the multicolored lights, standing next to the man he's stuck with for the past few years. He hums along to the tune of the silence, waiting, looking, thinking. Yuta is busy too, waiting for the next song to play.

The guitarist comes to center view and strums notes on his guitar - a few in which Sicheng recognizes to be ' _Pagtingin_ '. It's a song about confessing to the person you like and hoping it wouldn't change anything. He takes another look at Yuta, who smiles while the intro to the new song plays.

Sicheng also smiles at his view, only thinking about him, head repeating the name 'Yuta' over and over again. He opens his mouth only to be interrupted by Yuta cheering.

' _Dami pang gustong sabihin,_ ' 

(There's a lot I wanted to say,)

The song starts and Sicheng's thoughts run wild, the vision of confessing to Yuta playing in his head. It's not a shock to him as he has thought about this over and over, even providing conclusions to possible replies Yuta may say. There's always the good endings, then the bad endings (but it's mostly the good ones; like the ones where they fall in love and get a dog hahahaha).

' _Wag mo akong sisihin,_ '

(Don't blame me,) 

The stomach churning ache of regret takes over Sicheng. Dozens of 'what ifs' flash in his head, he doesn't want to lose anything while revealing his true feelings, not even Yuta.

His eyes stay on Yuta. He's having the time of his life. Cheering, dancing, a smile plastered on his face as he sings along to the lyrics.

_God, if you knew what it means you won't be so happy about it_ , Sicheng thinks.

The chorus ends and Sicheng's still in a trance. He contemplates confessing right now, even though he's went over it like a million times already- just say you like the boy.

Yuta then grabs his hand and starts begging him to cheer with him, in which Sicheng follows. He waves his hands up in the air, like Yuta does, but it's not enough to stop the trance he's in.

**Thinking thinking thinking.**

He wants to back out, but no. He's made a deal with himself that if he doesn't do it now, he might not be able to do it again. In the middle of drunk cheering bodies, Christmas lights and songs about love, maybe he can face the truth. Maybe Yuta should know by now too.

The crowd's suddenly singing ' _Pahiwatig_ ' (Give you a hint) along with the band. There are no instruments heard. Yuta's doing it too and god, he's so beautiful. Sicheng's heart is full.

The song is nearing its end, and Sicheng takes deep breaths to calm himself down but also, admire Yuta for one last time. After all, he's willing to risk everything just to tell his bestfriend he loves him more than just a friend.

' _Sana di magbago ang pagtingin_.'

(I hope nothing changes.)

The last lyric sounds like a bell. Like a cue. Like it's telling Sicheng to go for it.

And he will.

He calls out Yuta's name, and the latter answers quickly.

"I want to tell you something," Sicheng starts, heart beating too fast he might collapse on the spot.

"Mhm?" Was Yuta's reply.

"I love you."

"Ha?" Yuta leans closer, and Sicheng gears up to repeat it.

"I love you. More than a friend, more than anything in this world. I love you, Nakamoto Yuta, it's been 3 years… I hope you understand," Sicheng just blurts it all out.

The atmosphere was quiet. It was like static. Even the static was tuning out what Sicheng said, so he wasn't sure if he said it all correctly. It felt like there were no instruments, no band, no one else except for them in the middle of a big stadium.

Sicheng thought they were alone. He wished they were.

Yuta doesn't move, he doesn't say anything. He's heard every bit of it, probably processing. Sicheng fears it's too much, but he's ready for rejection, he thinks.

A bass line. A guitar strum. A cymbal. And Yuta's cheering again. He waves his hands in the rhythm of the new song. He doesn't acknowledge Sicheng.

Sicheng stays frozen at Yuta's reaction. It was like a brush-off, totally ignored. He bites his lip, trying to fight of tears.

Yuta didn't even say anything, he just went back to his business. He's just jamming like what he did before Sicheng talked to him.

It's like Sicheng wasn't even there.

As the new song starts, the noise came back. A new tune, a new melody people sang along.

Sicheng used it to hide his sobs.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope y'all enjoyed this word vomit that took me an hour lol
> 
> support nct 2020 !!! <333


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